J is finally "ours" now, but boy, was the evening hard!
At 4:30 p.m. we met our social worker and J's current foster mom to make the transition of caregivers. His 16 year old foster sister also came to say good-bye. First, the elder Dr. Kim came to pray for a safe journey for the traveling babies. (We shared the blessing with the newest member of another family also.) We took some pictures of everyone together, then they brought J to the room next door to get last minute photos for the agency files.
(This picture is edited from a group photo with the foster mom and sister.)His foster sister held him for a bit while we read a letter she had written to us (in English). When foster mom and the social worker came back, they helped me put him on my back in the chunei and C and I walked up the stairs to our guest room.
J did ok for a little while, about the same length of time as on Monday during our second meeting. Then he started to cry very hard (essentially screaming) and arch his back. He kept looking around, searching for his foster oma. We just tried to cuddle him, speak gently and hoped to sooth his tears. He kept it up for about an hour and eventually he cried himself to sleep.He woke up after about 45 minutes and was still fussy, but not nearly with the same intensity as before. We gave him a bottle, and some banana and walked around the halls for awhile. C and I took turns to allow us both to eat dinner and to give our arms and our ears a break! J did start to get calmer throughout the evening. C even got him to give us his first smile just for us. He fell asleep again at 10 p.m. on the full size mattress that we had pulled to the floor to all share for the night.
We were told during our adoption training about the grieving process these babies will be going through, but it sure is tougher to live through it, rather than just speak intellectually about it!
(Don't worry though... since I am writing this late, it does get better!)
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